I figured if Robert Fulghum
could write his book called All I Really Needed To Know I
Learned In Kindergarten,
well then I could write
something similar about Clay. Because Lord knows, I think we all have
learned something from him. I should say, at least I know I have. Either
by trial and error, here are a few things I have discovered, those
little truths that follow you around in life no matter what.
1)
The Geek Shall Inherit The Earth
Almost ten years after high
school he has proven himself again and again to his fans and nay-sayers
that he is who he is, and he makes no excuses or apologies for it. He
has gone above and beyond what his taunting classmates ever expected.
This gives hope to other nerds,geeks, dorks and the like. Clay has
taught us to love our "inner-geekness".
2)
Being Raised By Women Prepares You To
Treat A Woman Like A Lady
With His Nanny and Granny and
Mama Faye around, how could he go wrong? Treat everyone how you would
want you and your own Mama treated.
3) If You Trust In A Higher
Power, You Shall Be Protected.
His strong faith has been the
pillar on which he leans.
4)
To Keep Warm, Always Wear Three
Layers
One never knows when the
weather can go from ninety degrees to freezing in a matter of minutes.
This is also a good rule to remember if you want to drive everyone batty
and make them faint at the sight of your fuzzy arms when you DO decide
to wear one layer or short sleeves.
5) Yes, horizontal and
vertical stripes DO go together.
Never be a follower, always be
a leader when it comes to your own fashion sense, even after you have
made a gazillion dollars and can afford others to dress you. Fashion
Police be damned!
Always trust your mother, even
when it comes to decorating your house. Except when it comes to
socks...then trust your own instinct no matter what anyone else tells
you.
7)
Trust The People You Grew Up With
Even when Hollywood beckons and
can provide you with anything you need, always remember your friends and
family back home. This includes having your best friend as your personal
assistant. Who better to trust to put burning eyes drops in your eyes if
Mama is not around?
There's nothing like a pair of
flannel bottoms and a tee shirt to relax in after a long hard day at the
office..or..on stage with 10,000 screaming fans.
9)
Dogs Really ARE A Man's Best Friend
Especially when she is named
after your home town and gives you plenty of doggie kisses laced with
the smell of Milk Bones.
It is not nice to blind a
person with a camera flash when they are performing onstage. It could
lead to disastrous results like the end of the concert or missing that
last glory note.
11)
It Is Always Best To Share
Remember to bring that roll of
black electrical tape to concerts to share with said flashers. Giving
them the evil eye will result in nothing but dumb looks of confusion.
12)
Only Drop Little Hints To Dirve
People Nuts
This is especially true of
upcoming events like album releases. This keeps the fans Coming Back For
More.
13)
Not Everyone Knows What They Are
Talking About
Even if they are seemingly
learned and especially if they have the last name Cowell.
14)
There's No Place Like Home
Give your heels three clicks
and poof! You are back in touch with your roots, right where you belong.
And my new personal favorite by one of our greatest presidents, Mr.
Abraham Lincoln. I feel no explanation is needed:
15) "It Is Better To Remain
Silent And Thought A Fool, Than To Speak Up And Remove All Doubt."