Sweet Zoe Jane

It was late, two in the morning at least, when Clay walked into the front door of his home, setting his luggage in the living room with an exhausted sigh.

"Finally," he said. "Home at last." After pulling off his coat, he headed towards the back of the house, to the nursery.

Clay stepped into the room quietly and touched the tiny faerie night-light on the wall. It lit up, giving off a faint blue glow. He smiled as his daughter's sleeping form came into view.

Silently as he could, Clay walked over to the cradle and leaned over it, watching the baby as she slept.

He rested an elbow on the railings of the bed and tilted his head slightly in fascination. "Eight months," he murmured softly. The baby squirmed slightly in her sleep. Clay pulled back the railing of the bed and picked his daughter up gently.

Crystal green eyes opened to look up at the girl's father. She had his eyes. Her eyes were gorgeous, but the way she was looking at him... It was as if she'd never seen him before in her life.

{Well I want you to notice
To notice when I'm not around
And I know that your eyes see straight through me
And speak to me without a sound}

Clay bit his lip, a bit hurt by the fact that his daughter was looking at him like he was a stranger. The tiny girl writhed a bit in his arms, hiccuped, and started to cry.

"Oh, don't cry, honey," said Clay softly. He stepped back and sat down in the rocking chair his wife had placed in the room. Still, the child cried. He stroked her hair softly and began to rock, talking to her.

He said in a soft voice, "My baby... my sweet Zoe Jane. I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you." His head lowered slighty as he gave a heavy sigh. "If I could, I'd spend every single moment with you. I love you, Zoe Jane."

The infant's crying softened to soft whines, grasping at her father's shirt and fidgeting. She was tired, but was not comfortable with the person holding her.

Clay pulled his head back and held the child up a bit, smiling at her. "You're so beautiful," he said. "After a triple platinum album, three concert tours, and every TV appearance ever invented... You're the best thing I've ever accomplished."

Zoe Jane stared at the man quizzically. He didn't seem as though he were going to hurt her. She reached out experimentally and brushed her tiny fingers across his cheek. Clay laughed softly and pulled her close, kissing her forehead.

{I want to hold you
Protect you from all the things I've already endured
And I want to show you
To show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way a father should love his daughter}

With his lips still touching her forehead, Clay's eyes locked on the cradle opposite the room. The empty one. The one with the name 'Halle May' carved into the headboard.

The man's eyes filled with tears. He hugged Zoe Jane close and spoke to her softly, "Zoe Jane... you had a sister. Your sister was Halle May. All my life I'd wanted twin babies, and when I found out that's what I was going to get, well... Your mama and I settled on names and I had these two cradles made just for my baby girls. My Zoe Jane, and my Halle May."

Zoe Jane reached up and put her hand on his chin, giving a soft coo that sounded almost inquisitive.

Clay paused to look down at his daughter with a weak smile. "Halle May's still my baby," he said, tears spilling down his cheeks. "She's just... an angel before her time." He stroked Zoe Jane's hair, pulling her back to rest her head on his chest as he looked up to the cieling. "But I've still got you, my sweet Zoe Jane."

{When I walked out this morning
I cried as I walked to the door
I cried about how long I'd be away for
I cried about leaving you all alone}

"Your mama called me this morning," said Clay as he pulled his daughter back to speak to her, giving her a small grin. "She told me you took a few steps today. Your first steps, my Zoe Jane." He set her on his knee and gently bounced her. "I'm sorry I had to miss them."

Zoe Jane giggled as she was bounced. She reached for her daddy, now remembering him from before, and grabbed hold of the striped tie he was wearing. She put it in her mouth and drooled on it, watching him as if to ask if it was okay.

Clay just laughed at her and let her chew on his tie. He had plenty more. "You see... daddy's really busy," he said to her. "Daddy has to work a lot... Daddy hates having to leave you all the time, but the people he works for never stop. But like I said, if it were up to me, I'd be with you all the time."

{I want to hold you
Protect you from all the things I've already endured
And I want to show you
To show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way a father should love his daughter}

Pulling Zoe Jane back to his chest, Clay shut his tear-filled eyes and sang out softly...

{Sweet Zoe Jane}

He began to rock in the chair again, singing to his daughter a lullaby he'd just made up.

{So I wanted to say this
'Cause I wouldn't know where to begin
To explain to you what I have been through
To explain where your daddy has been}

There came a voice from the doorway, snapping Clay from his half-awake sanctuary as he held onto his daughter.

"Clay?" called his wife. He turned to look back at her, the black silhouette of a woman, her features blurred by the light from the hallway mingling with the darkness of the room. "Did you just get home?"

Clay stood up, clutching Zoe Jane to his chest and stroking her back with this thumb. "Yeah," he murmured. "I-I wanted to come see Zoe Jane before I fell asleep."

His wife gave a soft laugh, resting her head on the doorway and yawning. "Well... she's asleep now. Won't you come to bed?"

"Yeah..." With a sigh, Clay carefully placed Zoe Jane back into her cradle and pulled the railing back up. He watched her sleeping form for several moments. His wife left to go to their bedroom and wait.

After a moment, Clay turned to follow her.

{I want to hold you
Protect you from all the things I've already endured
And I want to show you
To show you all of the things that this life has in store for you
I'll always love you
The way a father should love his daughter}

Clay stopped in the doorway and turned to look back at his baby girl, his hand on the nightlight. "My baby... my sweet Zoe Jane... I'll always love you," he whispered, shutting off the light. "Good night."