Over the summer of 2003, I became one of those fan-girls I swore I never would be. I raged along with the other girls who now firmly believed that American Idol was rigged. How had Ruben won over Clay? It was the debate of the year all throughout the US, and I was of Clay's representatives. Claymates, they were called. I gladly accepted the title and still carry it proudly today. I've touched on how I 'got to know Clay', but I still haven't touched on how Clay has changed my life, have I? Well, that very autumn, a teacher of mine that I was very close to, died of cancer. Only a few days prior, I had gotten Clay's first CD. I only knew two songs on it, the one Clay had won me over with on the finale night, and then a new one of his that I had heard him perform that summer on a tv show. On the way to my teacher's viewing, I listened to this song several times over, and found it very comforting. The whole song is basically about friends helping friends during hard times. Its title is "I Will Carry You", and it became my theme song for that period of time in my life, because things were doing downhill fast.

Not only had my favorite teacher died, I was moving to Florida fairly soon, my best friend was moving to Japan, and my mother was trying to get pregnant again; something I wasn't certain I wanted. I drowned myself in the music of my new favorite artist. The songs were like my anti-depressant. Whenever I listened to them, I knew things would be alright. They always managed to calm me down, no matter what was going on. Things only got worse when I moved to Florida, because I was now very alone. I always had a hard time making friends before, and was afraid of making new ones because I always lost them when they moved, or I moved. And besides, being a Claymate makes it hard sometimes to find friends. Not everyone likes Clay Aiken. I had missed Clay's concert tour, since it had been in Florida the week before I moved, and in my homestate of Virginia the day of my move. Just my luck. I still hadn't seen the man that comforted me in my times of need, live in concert. The summer went by quickly, Clay had another concert tour and I missed this one as well. Was I ever going to see him live? I figured I probably wouldn't, so instead of seeing him live, I just listened to his new Christmas CD, wore out my original CD, and read Clay's new book. This book was what would change my life forever.

It was Clay's story of his life; how he had been left alone and made fun of in school, and how he overcame all this and became comfortable with himself and made the best out of life. His life story was so much like my own. I was able to take his story and the advice he wrote down, and begin to make changes in my life with it. Thanks to the book, I ended up more confident, and started to become more comfortable with myself. And that Christmas, I finally saw Clay in concert. What an experience. Not only did I enjoy the concert, but I spent two hours out at the buses in the freezing cold, chatting away with fellow Claymates I had only met that night -- something I would have never done before. We sang Clay's songs, we talked to his backup singers and band members, and then finally Clay came out himself for a few minutes. It was a great night, and I was determined now to get to another concert so I could do this again. When Clay released dates for his next concert, I made a deal with my parents. If I could lose at least fifteen pounds, they'd pay for the tickets for the concert. So in May I got hard to work on losing weight. By time August finally came around, my whole personality had changed. I was seventeen pounds lighter, confident, and actually felt like I was worth something. And I was determined to get Clay to notice me. 

The day of the concert, I was feeling great. My mom and I went to a Claymate party, where I actually got up and played a trivia game in front of a room full of people. I would have never done that before, but I was feeling way too good not to. We chatted with people, I met other fans I knew off the Clay message boards, and we had a lot of fun. Then it was time to get ready for the concert. When I changed into my new outfit I had gotten just for the concert, I got comments from all my family about how pretty I looked. And I had to admit, I agreed, for once in my life. All thanks to Clay, I had been able to lose weight, gain confidence, and was now able to hold my head up high and not be shy and wonder what people thought of me. That night, I did get Clay's attention, using a sign I had made that said my name was Mandy. Clay saw the sign, and sang Barry Manilow's "Mandy" while looking straight at me. It was a moment I'll never forget. Later on, Clay invited everyone down to the stage -- something he only did at our concert I'd later find out -- and then sat right in front of me to sing a new love ballad, another incredible moment. And then, he sang his quick-tempo songs. I was dancing and singing along right with everyone else, and didn't even feel shy or nervous about it. I was having fun, and every-so-often, Clay would hold out the microphone for us to sing along. It was an incredible moment, and was worth all the work I had put into losing the weight.

Even though the concert is over, I'm still trying hard to lose more weight and keep a positive attitude about myself. Not only do I want this so I can go to the next concert, but I want this for myself too. Not only has Clay, in a way, introduced me to a lot of my best friends who are Claymates, he has also inspired me to make myself a better person, by giving me confidence, being a good incentive to lose weight, and proving to me that even the underdog can make something of themselves. To Clay Aiken, I owe a lot.