My Summer Tour with Clay...Sorta
Ok. So it really wasn't with Clay but it was
close enough. AND BOY WAS IT GREAT FUN. And it hardly cost me any money at
all. Ok. Another lie.
So I was planning on going to the Indianapolis & Cleveland concerts. Then
the email arrived on Thursday August 11th. YOU HAVE WON A MEET & GREET IN
TOLEDO. I was like holy #$*@ - where is Toledo? Is this joke? I have no
tickets! AHHHH! How far is? Do I fly? Do I drive? My brakes need to be
fixed! AHHHH! This was amplified my like 10 because we had hit our favorite
martini bar for happy hour and had just walked in. Being a compulsive email
checker I also check my email under the influence. THANK GOD, you know!?
You had to respond to the email: Yes I will attend the meet & greet or No I
will not attend the meet & greet. I think I screamed at the computer, WHO
WOULDN'T ATTEND A MEET & GREET??? My dear husband Brad had to help me
respond to the email as I couldn't seem to respond as my fingers had turned
to Jello.
My next thought was when is this concert in Toledo? I consult the concert
schedule that I had handily placed on my desk, for quick reference. #$%&*!
It was Tuesday, August 16th! Quick like bunnies Brad springs to action and
gets me two tickets on eBay that are to be Fed Ex'ed and arrive Monday. Then
I thought about my job. I was already going to be off work that Wednesday,
Thursday and Friday for Indy, then Wednesday and Thursday of the following
week for Cleveland. We devised 4 different travel plans to get to Toledo and
nixed three of them. I would drive Monday after work to my aunt's house in
Indianapolis (4 hours) then the next morning get up and drive the 4 hours to
Toledo. Well, needless to say I got lost. But look where I ended up:
All corn, then this!
A beacon in the night.
I make it, chill with the family, get up the next day and drive through
10000 toll booths on the Ohio Turnpike. At one of the final toll booths I
was on the phone when I approached the window, my money ready. The crabby
woman that works in the booth yelled at me, "THAT IS A GOOD WAY TO LOSE YOUR
MONEY!" I was like what? To who - the state of Ohio? Why are you yelling at
me? Thanks for taking all my money in $2.30 increments Ohio, then yelling at
me.
Notice the Mapquest directions reflected in the windshield.
Look what I almost died taking a picture of. Bwhaa.
As I am driving I get a call from a friend from Michigan (Beth) who is
meeting me at the concert. She is about an hour away from Toledo and was
going to leave when I got about an hour out. She asks where I was, we
compare time to make sure we are on schedule and as we are ending the
conversation she said something about it being 4:30 now. Well my Santa Fe
clock was telling me it was 3:30. Meet & Greet time: 6:15. Prep time for me
to prepare to meet a One Mr. Clay Aiken: A lot longer than I had. I was in
my darn pajamas for chrissake. I totally panicked as I realized that the
country is split up into different time zones and I was entering one
DIFFERENT FROM MINE! A desperate look at my cell phone confirmed that yes
sir, it was 4:30. I hit the gas and prayed there were no cops. I would just
have to explain my predicament and demand a police escort to my hotel and
then to the venue. Pretty simple-eh?
I make it to the hotel by 5ish, I wasn't that far. I check in, RUN LIKE HELL
the 4 feet from the desk to the elevator, then RUN LIKE HELL from the
elevator to the room. A note here: The Toledo Plaza & Suites (a pretty bold
name) keeps its lobby and hallways at a cool 79-81 degrees. Did I mention I
was RUNNING LIKE HELL down to hallway, dragging my 12x12 foot suitcase,
purse, papers, tickets, email stating that I WON A MEET & GREET WITH A ONE
MR. CLAY AIKEN and $3500 worth of audiovisual equipment? I spent this whole
last two weeks as if I was training to be a CNN camerawoman covering the
war. I digress. I get to the room all the way at the end of the hall,
naturally, unload, iron, plug in all the necessary audiovis/ipod
speakers/flat irons and get in the shower.
I am quite proud at the amount of time that I got ready to meet a ONE MR.
CLAY AIKEN in. I was dressed and ready to go by the time Beth from Michigan
got to my door. I check and double check that I have everything I need,
tickets, email, directions to the venue and we are off. I decided at the
last minute not to take my wallet because my bag was so darn heavy so I
quickly fish out my license, credit & debit cards (hello merchandise booth)
and we are off.
We go to the wrong entrance to the venue (the Toledo Zoo Amphitheatre) and
have to go around 20 city blocks to get to the correct entrance. We get
there, park and join the throngs of people waiting to see Clay. I go to the
will call window and ask about the meet & greet pass that I was supposed to
pick up. She informs me that they haven't arrived yet. Ok, I wait with Beth
and some other women that have also won a m&g. We all chat nervously and I
meet a hilarious woman named Ann. We vow to stick together in case the other
one totally wigs out. Since I only won one m&g pass and Beth couldn't go
with me, I decided I should give her the ticket now and I would come in and
meet her at the inside gate after the m&g. I lean into my bag to get the
tickets and realize I stuck them in my wallet. My wallet was on the hotel
room bed. Well then I thought I was going to come unglued. The rules said
you have to have a ticket to get into the m&g. I run back to the window,
panicked and ask if I HAVE to have a ticket. The Zoo Booth Woman did not
give one #$%* that I was virtually having a heart attack. She confirmed my
worst fear and I realized I would have to buy another ticket and then go
back to the hotel before the show to get the tickets. Background on the
tickets: I paid $6.77 for the 2 tickets on eBay (sorry Clay!) Now I was
going to have to buy a full priced ticket. Oh well. I plunk down my debit
card and the Zoo Booth Woman says, "Cash only." I think I may have emitted a
noise that made the cheetahs in the zoo take pause. I HAD NO CASH. I never
have cash, and I didn't think I would be stupid enough to leave my freaking
tickets on the bed. I was about 4 seconds from tears. Beth whipped out $40
for the cheapest ticket. I couldn't thank her enough. I felt horrible since
I technically had never met Beth before, as we met through a fan site and
now I am borrowing cash from her.
Ticket in hand, I turn back to Ann and we discuss how nervous we are, what
we are going to say, what we are having signed and so on. We were so
engrossed in talking about people, that we missed the winners being taken
inside the gates. We RAN LIKE HELL, showed our passes, and went through the
gates.
Once inside, there was so much standing around with no Clay in sight, I
realized that I wasn't going to have time to go back to the hotel. I called
Beth and she met me at the fence. It was like a prison visit. Bwhaa. We
decided that she would go back to the hotel and get the tickets from my
wallet. Please remember that we still don't know each other very well and I
have already had to borrow cash from her. Now I have to ask her to go back
to my hotel room and go through my wallet. I was convinced she thought I was
a nut job. She was wonderful about it! (I heart you Beth!)
Back to waiting. There are about 12-14 women and we are all grouped
together. I found it interesting that each woman was talking in ClaySpeak,
each trying to nicely one up the other with a juicier bit of ClayGossip.
"Well I heard that...." and "Linda & Bob are...." Oh and it turns out that
ultimately I didn't need that ticket! No one checked! You are welcome Clay.
Clay's peeps: Security & Mary
Ann and I were concentrating on her not peeing in her pants from nerves.
Finally we get the go ahead from someone and we walk around to what I would
later discover was the back of the amphitheatre. We were all hustled into a
line against a fence. Twice. I wondered how much more flat I could get
against the fence. Across from us was The Bus. Ann & I talked furiously
about famewhores, peeing in your pants and what we were going to say to
Clay. Once again, we were so engrossed in shit talking that we missed a One
Mr. Clay Aiken getting off the bus. I had been filming that damn bus off and
on for like 25 minutes while we were being continually prodded back against
the fence. Of course we missed him. We saw the side of his head as he turned
the corner. $%^&*. Well the line started to move, and we were towards the
back. I was given some wonderful advice: Get to the back of the line so you
can look at Clay longer. Done. But what is blocking the way? Yes. It was the
fence. This fence was really asking for it. We could hear him talking but
couldn't see him. Torture. At some point in all this line waiting someone
gave out TY Beanie Babies to everyone (a reddish bear) and its tag read:
Clay. I smiled and said thanks wondering what the $#%^ I was going to do
with this bear. I had like no free hands. Ann got her bear and noted that
she may need to pee on it. I think the bear ultimately ended up as a Kleenex
for her. She noted when I met up with her in Cleveland that she doesn't
typically use stuffed animals as Kleenex but naturally we were out of our
minds with excitement [read: lust.]
The Bus & the Damn Fence.
Jacob.
Wait. Who is this?
Quiana. She used my Sharpie.
Then line goes quickly -at one point we had all set our purses down against
that darn fence but then each woman had to loop back around to get it.
Suddenly Clay yells, "Ladies - bring your purses with you!" We all laughed
and scrambled for our bags. Then it's my turn. Did you hear me? It was
MY TURN. Clay is standing there, all like 12 feet of him
(ok maybe only 6) and smiles at me. AND I DIED. There are parts of me,
slayed by Clay, all over the country now. He sticks out his beautiful hand
and shakes mine. I feel as if I am moving in slow-mo as I extend my hand to
shake his. For a ever so brief second I wondered what would happen if I
grabbed his hand like a maniac and dragged him into the zoo, having my way
with him. (Too much fan fiction does this to a girl.) I decided against it
since I hadn't had my picture with him yet. Here is the dialogue that
transpired between me and A One Mr. Clay Aiken.
Clay: Hi!
Audra: Hiiii!
Clay: What's your name?
Audra: Audra
Clay: Is it really?
Audra: Yes. You said that same thing to me when I met you
in Chicago at a
booksigning
Clay: I said something about your name then too? [Then he
laughed that GREAT laugh]
Audra: Yes
Clay: Well maybe I should remember it for next time then.
Author note: I died a little here again
Audra: Psychotic giggle. [Thinks to self, "Stop that, you
sound like a hyena. STOP!" It didn't work.] That would be nice!
Clay: Are you from Toledo?
Audra: [Thinks to self, "Why is he asking me about Toledo?"
then remember that I am IN Toledo.] No! I am from St. Louis.
Clay: You came all the way from St. Louis??
Audra: Yes!
Clay: That's pretty far from here!
Audra: Yes, it was a hike. [Pretty witty, - eh?]
Clay: Laughing
As you can tell, I came off pretty S-M-A-R-T. I think I only said 'yes.'
Clay had signed my fan club picture and stepped around the tiny tall table
that he was signing on and kind of put his arm out. I think I full on ran
the 2 steps to him thinking OH MY FREAKING GOD CLAY AIKEN IS HOLDING OUT HIS
ARM TO ME. By this point I had handed Mary my envelope for Clay and handed
Nick my camera. I had my giant (but trendy) tote of media collecting devices
on my arm as I approached him. So I snuggle in and Clay puts his cheek down
by mine and I put my arm around his waist and he puts his around mine. And
you guessed it - I died a little. FROM PURE JOY. So we were
smiling, I was hoping that my sweaty face wasn't sticking to his beautiful
face and I realized I had my CNN bag on my shoulder still. I was like OH NO.
I said, "Oh wait!" to no one in particular, but I guess to Nick since he had
my camera. "I have to put my bag down!" I half shouted. So I drop the tote
forgetting how much all the contents inside cost. Unfortunately, I HAD to
snuggle back in with Clay. Here we are again cheek to cheek and Nick snapped
the picture. I squealed in a very fangirly manner, got a little extra
squeeze out of the arm-around-the-waist opportunity and said "THANK YOU!!"
He said thank you back - which in retrospect I found funny. He made my
day/week/year/life and he was thanking me. I know it was probably out of
politeness but so!?
Internet - Can you believe this? Cheek to cheek.
They hustled me out of there by bringing the next person in as soon as I had
disengaged from Clay (a sad moment) and I turned to leave - forgetting my
camera. I had about 2.5 steps taken and Nick or Clay or someone said, "Hey
your camera!" and held it out to me. I was extremely flushed at this point,
my ears were on fire; I backtracked and grabbed the camera, smiled and said
thanks!
Well I RAN LIKE HELL again through the archway that led to the amphitheatre.
Who do I find there? My new friend Ann. It is important to note that I
apparently was screaming the whole way through this archway and I am sure it
was reverberating through the entire zoo. When I saw her I screamed louder,
we jumped around together, frantically trying to flip our digital cameras to
the review mode. Once we found our respective pics I am pretty sure we
screamed louder. What I didn't realize until I had been screaming for the
better part of 3 minutes was that we were right next to the stage. There was
a crew member setting up something and he just stopped and stared at me
like, "Who is this loon?" I said to him, "Iamnotnormallythisinsanebutiamrightnowsosorrywekeepscreaming!"
He just shook his head and kind of laughed. And backed away. Bwhaa.
Ann and I exchanged email & cell numbers so we could continue this madness
in Cleveland and then we parted ways. I went to find Beth and we spotted
each other up by the entrance gates. I think it was more she spotted me
since I was is a total daze. She led us to our seats as I called everyone I
knew, screaming incoherently, "CHEEK TO CHEEK CHEEK TO CHEEK!" My sister
said, "I can't understand a word you are saying!"
Our seats were pretty good considering Brad picked them up on eBay for me -
meaning not a lot of research was done for them. I frantically continued
dialing and screaming, then passing my camera up and down the aisle to show
people my picture until the show started. I didn't realize until I got to
Indy that the Toledo show didn't have the backgrounds on the stage because
of the type of stage it was. Beth and I had a great time, screaming and
carrying on. We had a good laugh during Quiana's I will Always Love You,
even though the song itself wasn't funny. For whatever reason we just kept
hysterically laughing. You know when you get the serious giggles for no
apparent reason and the most inappropriate time? That was us! The weather
was great, I met some fellow Claymaniacs - Hi HavinAClayAffair! -and the
concert was great. As the show ended and we were walking out, these two
teenage girls were walking ahead of us. One turned to the other and said,
"Have you heard that End of the Road song before? I haven't!"
I was like WHAT DID SHE SAY? That was only the skating rink anthem. Couples
skate - hello? Middle school friends moving away - hello? What song do you
grieve to Toledo Teenage Girls?
I actually felt a moment of panic there.
Flags.
After the concert ended it was a madhouse to get out and we got to the car
and pretty much sat in the parking lot. As we were making our way out there
was a van next to us with all the shoe polish writing on proclaiming the
passenger's love for Clay. I leaned over to take a picture of it, not
realizing that there were people in there. Bwhaa. The van door opens and
like 15 women stuck their heads out. I waved and said, "HEY I WON A MEET &
GREET TONIGHT! WANNA SEE MY PICTURE??" So since we were just sitting I
jumped out of the car and ran over and showed them. It was hilarious and
some of the women actually hugged me. That is what a Clay concert high does
to you, it encourages random hugging.
We headed back to the hotel and had the desk people take our picture
together and Beth headed home. I was still so excited by exhausted. I called
some more people to squeal in their ears, then headed to bed. Off to Indy!!
Me & Beth!
Indy
The next morning (Wednesday) I get up (late) and since I had all this
nervous concert energy I had packed up all my stuff the night before. Yah me
since I woke up late. I get my stuff and check out. Back to Indy. And
through all those darn tolls. At least I didn't get yelled at again.
After a minor car setback I get to my aunts. My mom and sister were driving
in from the Lou to meet me for the concert in Indy. We finally all get
there, eat dinner and them my cousin, sister and I head out to meet some
fellow Clay fans in town for the concert. We find that they are staying in a
hotel CLOSE TO CLAY'S HOTEL. Melissa, Lauren, Nikki my cousin and I beat
feet down to the Marriott where we find all of the buses. We run around the
buses like fools then decide shortly after to call it a night. I am quite
sure that Nikki, who is not a Clay fan thought we were all nuts. That could
be why she spilled that popcorn. Way to go Nikki. Bhwaaaa.
Getting home we go to bed after a bit of laughing. Ahem. The next day we
prepare to leave for the venue. The venue this time was the Indiana State
Fair. So now I have been to a Zoo and a State Fair to see Clay. Interesting
- not places I would typically frequent. We get lost, then we sit in State
Fair Traffic. Yes it is all capitalized because it was significant traffic.
Gah! I just missed the Farmer's Day Parade
We run in at the last minute and take our seats! We are in 9th row center.
Close but still so far. Well I could get used to seeing Clay every other
day. The concert rocked, it was hot but everyone had a good time. My
pictures didn't turn out worth a darn but my video kicks ass. At one point
in the concert he talks to the audience and he asked what we did yesterday.
He calls on about 7 people in the audience and then he says, "Yes, the girl
in the green" and we realized he was talking to Lauren! We started screaming
and he said, "I can't hear you when you cover your mouth!" We continued
jumping and screaming when Lauren yelled, "We went to your hotel!" It was
hilarious!
Only decent 35mm pic out of 16 rolls.
All of these close-ish ones are taken with the camcorder camera. Not bad really. I discovered that the SD card from my cell phone fit in the video camera!
Now just ah second - where is Audra?
After the concert we went to meet other Claymaniacs at TGIFridays for some
more Clay Festivities. Thanks to everyone that donated the fun gifts and
attendance gifts!
The girl in the green (Lauren) & my Mom!
Me & The infamous Shaikey!
Finally it was time to go home. We left the next morning for home. Now it
was the weekend! I spent hours talking to Brad about the concerts & the meet
& greet and much like you my dear readers, if you have got this far, he
eventually glazed over - I am sure. I was too busy reliving it to notice!
Reality was in the house for 2 days and I was off again to Cleveland! I am
fortunate that I still have a job seeing as that I was out of vacation
before I left. Eeep!
Flying to Cleveland! Yeah you look crazy Lauren
Was I dribbling a ball here?
We get in about 12:30 on Wednesday rent a car and try to check in. We can't
check in, of course so we get lunch and try to check in again. Nope. We
decide heck with it and we head off to the venue. This time it's in downtown
Cleveland at the Scene Pavilion. An awesome venue! My favorite of the three.
Downtown Cleveland - Nice!
Scene Pavilion
Well we see the buses again. I was familiar with these buses now since I had
filmed, ran around and snapped pics of them for 2 weeks. There was a small
group of people waiting by the buses. It was 8 hours before the concert
after all. I stood, camera poised to capture Clay (with the camera!) Hours
later, when the backs of my legs were sunburned and my freckles were in full
effect, he emerged from the bus and ran into the venue for the sound check.
I missed it. I saw the back of him. Again. Hilarious.
While I was waiting for him to get off the bus like a stalker, the woman
that walks his dog (how do I get that job?) brought the dog out and we could
pet her. I became a crazy person over the dog petting and oohing and ahhing
over her. Truth be told, I think that she is an ugly little thing. It was
hysterical. I was laughing at myself as I did it. But come on - how often
can you pet your favorite celebs dogs? Nevah! I was so excited that I filmed
the entire thing with the lens cap on. Like an idiot.
Lauren has been scouting the ticket booth and trying to sweet talk the
ticket guy. No more tickets they tell us. Well we had 20th row tickets and
this was just unacceptable. FINALLY after hours of waiting, we got 9th row
again. The good thing about these is that they were much closer than our
Indy 9th row and much more center. We managed to sell our tickets to a man
who was a bit of a horse's ass, but sold them nonetheless. We talked to a
million people and had a blast. We watched the sound check through the slats
in the wooden fence. I felt like Zapruder.
The concert was completely awesome. When Clay came into the audience at this
show, he went to the SEATS WE HAD JUST SOLD. Can you freaking believe that?
Murphy's law! Damn you Murphy!
Oh My.
Ear piece?
Oh the 80's.
Bring it!
I love me some deep.voice.Clay. (tm Jemock)
Till now, I always got by on my own.
Ahem.
MOAM Medley.
Big shoes. Ahem Ahem.
Sing it.
Angsty. I love it.
If hearts were unbreakable.
A lipbite?
The end of the show. Sniff.
A note to other concert goers: If you tell me to sit down when the people in
front of me are standing, you are going to get a beat down. I am not
sitting, I am sorry you are short or you couldn't get closer tickets or you
have an upset stomach or whatever your problem is - I don't care. Screaming
at me to sit will cause me to stand on my chair and wave my arms. Hey - if
they people in front of me sit, I will too. I am not trying to be difficult
but come on.
My tour with Clay this summer rocked. I had to go back to school and work
this week and I am not digging entire 40 hour work weeks. That #$%* is
overrated. Bwhaaa.
I would like to congratulate you if you made it this far. I fear that one
day my memories will fade and I will have to go back and reread my blog to
remember. Ha! Plus I am really longwinded and cannot tell a short,
unillustrated story.
Numbers of tickets I purchased for this tour: 15. Yeah, some went to waste.
Bwhaaaa.
What - you want to see this again? Oh ok!